Tama na. Just accept it na lang, Kor. Tanga ka lang talaga. Just let me cry hard for the night and I'll just be silent about it starting tomorrow. Tama na. Let her have her space. Let her be happy without you. Breaking the ice with a knife and accidentally hitting your finger is not painful. Nothing could ever compare to how much painful this is right now. Miss na miss ko na talaga sila.
Yan. Tama yan tell lies to your sisters. Show them you're a d*ck, so they'd stay her out of everything. Haha. Last na siguro ito. For tonight. Night. Cry. Cry and cry, Kor. Hindi mo na dapat deserve magsisi at umiyak bukas kasi kasalanan mo to. Useless piece of sht
Wednesday, June 22, 2016
#15
I'm being pathetic. Ha ha. Hindi na rin ako sanay uminom. Chinat ko pa siya. Ha ha. Hayy. I should stop this na. She's doing fine without you. Just. Sana mawala na ako. Ha ha.
#14
Tama. Wala kang karapatan magreklamo. Wala kang karapatan lumapit sa ibang tao. Wala kang karapatan itaas ulo mo. Kasi kasalanan mo 'to. Wala kang karapatan kasi wala kang kwentang tao. Wala kang kwenta, Kor.
#13
There's no Good in Goodbye. :'( someone tell me how.. What am I supposed to do. I don't know what to do kasi ewan. Walang wala ako pag wala siya. Ito na yung kasunod na problems. I know ang baba ng tingin ng mga tao sakin. Oo na. Sige na. Sige pa. :'( Ang hirap pigilan lalo na pag napapalibutan ka ng mga tao at mas mahirap yung nag-iisang tao na nilalapitan mo pag may problema, wala na. Wala na. Ano pa ba purpose ko dito? Wala na. Hindi. Kaya ko to. Kakayanin ko to. Pipilitin ko. I don't need anyone. Tama.
#12
I.. Haha. I don't know how to express my feelings anymore. I just.. I can't stop crying. Ha ha. Haha.. Haha..
#11
Finally got the courage to say sht. From this moment on, whatever happens. If she's happy. I'm happy. I think this is going to be a long night. Ha ha ha. Hindi ko na mapigilan. Gusto ko matunaw. I miss her. Ha ha.
I must watch Me Before You. They say it's heartbreaking. Gusto ko umiyak ng umiyak haha. Seriously not in the mood. I think depression and anxiety is taking over me.
I must watch Me Before You. They say it's heartbreaking. Gusto ko umiyak ng umiyak haha. Seriously not in the mood. I think depression and anxiety is taking over me.
#10
Here I am. Writing a text to her and erasing it. Been doing that for more than 10 times.. Hayy. Hindi ko alam kung pano siya kakausapin. Dapat nga ba kausapin siya. I don't think so. I keep crying. Hayy tanga. Pero reading her posts. I think she's so much better without me. And later planning to give a text to her and erasing it again. I'm pathetic.
My sister is crying and I don't know what to say and I don't know how to help. I feel useless in everything. Pathetic, Kor.
My sister is crying and I don't know what to say and I don't know how to help. I feel useless in everything. Pathetic, Kor.
#9
I failed. I ended up checking her profile. God I miss her :'( I hate this. I want to talk to her but I'm really scared.. I miss her so bad :'(
#8
Oh man. Things just keep getting better and better -.- It rained hard and scary lighting. Had to shower with my dog and put him back upstairs and ran back down and locked the door. Never going out of this room until someone gets home :| Hayy.
Tuesday, June 21, 2016
#7
Rain outside my window pouring down. What now? You're. My Fault. I'm sorry. Feeling like a fool 'cause I let you down. Now it's too late to turn it around. I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry. But I guess this time, it really is goodbye.. :'(
Umulan pa oh :'( Nilalamon na ako ng dilim at lamig. Hayy. Cry. Just cry, you dck. You deserve this. I miss her so bad :'( Yes. I might need a glass of alcohol this time. I don't know what else to do. Wala na lahat. Haha. Dahil sakin wala na haha.
Umulan pa oh :'( Nilalamon na ako ng dilim at lamig. Hayy. Cry. Just cry, you dck. You deserve this. I miss her so bad :'( Yes. I might need a glass of alcohol this time. I don't know what else to do. Wala na lahat. Haha. Dahil sakin wala na haha.
#6
Hindi ko talaga kaya. :'( ang bagal bagal ng oras. Pano pa kaya pag gabi. :'( I miss her so bad :'(
#4
I want to check on my FB but I'm scared. Baka kung ano pa mabasa ko. My eyes hurt. Paulit ulit kong iniisip, tama ba talaga ginawa ko? I miss her so bad. :'( Sobrang nakakadown. Nakakadepress. 1st day pa lang at parang hindi na ako aabot pa ng isang oras. Gusto ko matunaw. Iniiwasan ko phone ko. Kahit ano na pwede kong makita na gustuhin ko pang bumalik, magsorry at kausapin siya. Nakalimutan ko na gusto pala ng Parents niya makausap mom ko.
Things are really difficult right now. Hindi ko alam kung kanino ko ipapakausap. Mga ate ko, wala. Mom's busy. Hayy. I don't want to check my phone. I don't want to be disappointed na baka walang text o ano. Hayy. Darn mind. I don't know what to do. Should I watch a movie? What movie. Fcking movies, naaalala ko lang siya eh :'( anime? Tinatamad ako maghanap ng ibang anime. Youtube. Yes Youtube. I need escape from reality with the help of my idols, PewDiePie, Markiplier and VanossGaming. And here goes the tears again.
Things are really difficult right now. Hindi ko alam kung kanino ko ipapakausap. Mga ate ko, wala. Mom's busy. Hayy. I don't want to check my phone. I don't want to be disappointed na baka walang text o ano. Hayy. Darn mind. I don't know what to do. Should I watch a movie? What movie. Fcking movies, naaalala ko lang siya eh :'( anime? Tinatamad ako maghanap ng ibang anime. Youtube. Yes Youtube. I need escape from reality with the help of my idols, PewDiePie, Markiplier and VanossGaming. And here goes the tears again.
#3
"Over And Over Again"
From the way you smile
To the way you look
You capture me
Unlike no other
From the first hello
Yeah, that's all it took
And suddenly
We had each other
And I won't leave you
Always be true
One plus one, two for life
Over and over again
So don't ever think I need more
I've got the one to live for
No one else will do
And I'm telling you
Just put your heart in my hands
I promise it won't get broken
We'll never forget this moment
It will stay brand new
'Cause I'll love you
Over and over again
Over and over again
From the heat of night
To the break of day
I'll keep you safe
And hold you forever
And the sparks will fly
They will never fade
And every day gets better and better
And I won't leave you
Always be true
One plus one, two for life
Over and over again
So don't ever think I need more
I've got the one to live for
No one else will do
Yeah, I'm telling you
Just put your heart in my hands
I promise it won't get broken
We'll never forget this moment
It will stay brand new
'Cause I'll love you
Over and over again
Over and over again
Girl when I'm with you
I lose track of time
When I'm without you
You're stuck on my mind
Be all you need
'Til the day that I die
I'll love you
Over and over again
So don't ever think I need more
I've got the one to live for
No one else will do
Yeah, I'm telling you
Just put your heart in my hands
Promise it won't get broken
We'll never forget this moment
It will stay brand new
'Cause I'll love you
Over and over again
Over and over again
Over and over again
To the way you look
You capture me
Unlike no other
From the first hello
Yeah, that's all it took
And suddenly
We had each other
And I won't leave you
Always be true
One plus one, two for life
Over and over again
So don't ever think I need more
I've got the one to live for
No one else will do
And I'm telling you
Just put your heart in my hands
I promise it won't get broken
We'll never forget this moment
It will stay brand new
'Cause I'll love you
Over and over again
Over and over again
From the heat of night
To the break of day
I'll keep you safe
And hold you forever
And the sparks will fly
They will never fade
And every day gets better and better
And I won't leave you
Always be true
One plus one, two for life
Over and over again
So don't ever think I need more
I've got the one to live for
No one else will do
Yeah, I'm telling you
Just put your heart in my hands
I promise it won't get broken
We'll never forget this moment
It will stay brand new
'Cause I'll love you
Over and over again
Over and over again
Girl when I'm with you
I lose track of time
When I'm without you
You're stuck on my mind
Be all you need
'Til the day that I die
I'll love you
Over and over again
So don't ever think I need more
I've got the one to live for
No one else will do
Yeah, I'm telling you
Just put your heart in my hands
Promise it won't get broken
We'll never forget this moment
It will stay brand new
'Cause I'll love you
Over and over again
Over and over again
Over and over again
'Cause I'll love you over and over again :'(
#2
Watching 50/50 (2011)
1. Shock
2. Denial
3. Resistance
4. Acceptance
See, but... that's bullshit. That's what everyone has been telling me since the beginning. "Oh, you're gonna be okay," and "Oh, everything's fine," and like, it's not... It makes it worse... that no one will just come out and say it. Like, "hey man, you're gonna die." - Adam
Hayy. I miss her. Wala namang nakakaiyak sa movie. Bakit ka umiiyak? HA HA HA. Fck it I really miss her :'(
1. Shock
2. Denial
3. Resistance
4. Acceptance
See, but... that's bullshit. That's what everyone has been telling me since the beginning. "Oh, you're gonna be okay," and "Oh, everything's fine," and like, it's not... It makes it worse... that no one will just come out and say it. Like, "hey man, you're gonna die." - Adam
Hayy. I miss her. Wala namang nakakaiyak sa movie. Bakit ka umiiyak? HA HA HA. Fck it I really miss her :'(
#1
Hindi kona alam kung pano ko pa siya kakausapin. It hurts to see her posts like that kaya I've decided, hindi na muna ako mag-oopen ng fb. Kasi pag nakikita ko siyang ganun, lalong sumasakit. Hindi ko pa rin alam kung tama 'tong ginagawa ko. Yung sabi kong alam ko pagsisisihan ko, pinagsisisihan ko na ngayon ha ha. Ang hirap ng wala siya. Ang hirap pilitin sanayin ang sarili opposite sa totoong nakasanayan mo. Masakit. Sobrang sakit. Gusto kong sabihin na "mahal na mahal kita" at sana maayos pa. Pero hindi ba sobra na nagawa ko? Ayoko na mahurt siya lalo. "Tama na" pero sabi ng puso at isip ko kausapin mo na.
Para akong nakikipaghabulan sa nararamdman ko at sa ano dapat. Pabalik balik. pabalik balik sa gustong gusto ko na masabing tahan na andito na ako at sa tama na.
Darn tears.
Sana hindi niya maisip na wala akong pake. Sana hindi niya maisip na binabalewala ko ang lahat kasi sobrang hirap. Mahal na mahal ko siya :'( Ito na ba yun? Yung love na "All I know is I love you too much, to walk away though" tanga ko. Sa totoo naman ayokong mag walk away. Magang maga na mata ko haha pero tama na.Tama na nga ba? DARN MIND :'(
Who am I kidding, she doesn't deserve me. I am a ticking bomb na pag natrigger, sasabog ng puro KASINUNGALINGAN at PROBLEMA. And I don't fcking deserve her. She's the best out there. Sana hindi siya magbago. Thank God, maraming andiyan para sa kanya. At ako? Siya lang naman ang partner ko eh. Nawala pa. Dahil sakin haha. Okay lang. Decision ko ito. Hindi ko kailangan ng kahit sino. Kailangan ko siya. Stop. Hindi. Okay lang. Okay lang ako. You've done enough bullsht, Kor. Don't hurt her again. Ito siguro yung consequence haha. Na mag-isa ako. Tama. Deserve ko yun. Deserve ko 'to. And she deserves to be happy.
She deserves the best. Sana someday, maging better ako at maharap ko siya ng maayos at maexplain ko at masabi ko lahat ulit nararamdaman ko. Kasi hindi hindi ko kaya hindi na 'to mawawala. Ayaw ko mawala. The thought of her is my strength. And the thought of her being happy, even if I'm not the reason, is my SUNSHINE in this deep dark side and life for me.
I hope she knows that I love her so much. Sobra. Siya lang wala ng iba. And I hope someday she finds her new happiness and I'd be here in the shadow, babantayan ko siya. and I'd always be here for her.
This is me. This is my regret. She's not my regret. The only regret I have is letting her go.
Oh God please please please, give us both strength, especially her. I love her. Sakin na madala lahat ng kamalasan. wag lang sa kanya. I miss her. That kind of miss that I'd stare at her picture on my phone for hours. Read our convos and cry. I miss her that even a second seeing her would make my heart skip a beat. I miss her. I love her. Hindi ko alam na yung love na 'to masasaktan ko pa siya. Itong love na 'to magadala sa maraming problema. Dahil sakin. Nawala lahat. Deserve ko 'to.
I hope she becomes happy. And be my SUNSHINE in this darkness. Kahit ang sobrang init ng sun masakit. Kahit maging sobrang sakit. Kahit sobrang sakit na. I will never leave her. and when she needs me, I'd be there for her. To see her happy, makes me very happy.
I love her and God, I wish I could say this is all a dream. And in reality, I'd do everything right. Or I'd try to make everything right. Everything right that she wouldn't have to be sad and away from me. Everything right that I could tell her I love her every single chance I could get. Everything right that I wouldn't just be there for her but I am with her. Beside her. Ha. Tears.
Para akong nakikipaghabulan sa nararamdman ko at sa ano dapat. Pabalik balik. pabalik balik sa gustong gusto ko na masabing tahan na andito na ako at sa tama na.
Darn tears.
Sana hindi niya maisip na wala akong pake. Sana hindi niya maisip na binabalewala ko ang lahat kasi sobrang hirap. Mahal na mahal ko siya :'( Ito na ba yun? Yung love na "All I know is I love you too much, to walk away though" tanga ko. Sa totoo naman ayokong mag walk away. Magang maga na mata ko haha pero tama na.Tama na nga ba? DARN MIND :'(
Who am I kidding, she doesn't deserve me. I am a ticking bomb na pag natrigger, sasabog ng puro KASINUNGALINGAN at PROBLEMA. And I don't fcking deserve her. She's the best out there. Sana hindi siya magbago. Thank God, maraming andiyan para sa kanya. At ako? Siya lang naman ang partner ko eh. Nawala pa. Dahil sakin haha. Okay lang. Decision ko ito. Hindi ko kailangan ng kahit sino. Kailangan ko siya. Stop. Hindi. Okay lang. Okay lang ako. You've done enough bullsht, Kor. Don't hurt her again. Ito siguro yung consequence haha. Na mag-isa ako. Tama. Deserve ko yun. Deserve ko 'to. And she deserves to be happy.
She deserves the best. Sana someday, maging better ako at maharap ko siya ng maayos at maexplain ko at masabi ko lahat ulit nararamdaman ko. Kasi hindi hindi ko kaya hindi na 'to mawawala. Ayaw ko mawala. The thought of her is my strength. And the thought of her being happy, even if I'm not the reason, is my SUNSHINE in this deep dark side and life for me.
I hope she knows that I love her so much. Sobra. Siya lang wala ng iba. And I hope someday she finds her new happiness and I'd be here in the shadow, babantayan ko siya. and I'd always be here for her.
This is me. This is my regret. She's not my regret. The only regret I have is letting her go.
Oh God please please please, give us both strength, especially her. I love her. Sakin na madala lahat ng kamalasan. wag lang sa kanya. I miss her. That kind of miss that I'd stare at her picture on my phone for hours. Read our convos and cry. I miss her that even a second seeing her would make my heart skip a beat. I miss her. I love her. Hindi ko alam na yung love na 'to masasaktan ko pa siya. Itong love na 'to magadala sa maraming problema. Dahil sakin. Nawala lahat. Deserve ko 'to.
I hope she becomes happy. And be my SUNSHINE in this darkness. Kahit ang sobrang init ng sun masakit. Kahit maging sobrang sakit. Kahit sobrang sakit na. I will never leave her. and when she needs me, I'd be there for her. To see her happy, makes me very happy.
I love her and God, I wish I could say this is all a dream. And in reality, I'd do everything right. Or I'd try to make everything right. Everything right that she wouldn't have to be sad and away from me. Everything right that I could tell her I love her every single chance I could get. Everything right that I wouldn't just be there for her but I am with her. Beside her. Ha. Tears.
Hey
Words will never be enogh. Words are never enough. I guess the best thing to do is say only a few. I love you.
JUNE 21 2016
23:35
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